Life choices and happiness.

I was having a chat to someone at work yesterday and it's all put my mind into perspective. I was telling them about how I stayed up all night panicking and over thinking every little thing. I personally have never been one of those people who knew exactly what they wanted to do or where they wanted to go in life I've just 'gone with the flow' and followed where life took me. Although sometimes it's quite fun that way to see where you end up I find there's a lot of 'waiting' involved and not so much 'doing'. Im tired Of waiting around for something to happen and I realise nothing is happening because I am not making it happen. I'm waiting for something to come to me when really I have to go out and get it myself. I was saying to them how I have never truly been happy with what I've been doing, so this year I want make sure that I'm doing something that I love and that I actually enjoy. In an ideal world I would rather be my own boss and have a job that I can control what hours I work and sort of have it my way. But that might not happen for a few years, but again that's something I've got to go and do myself I can't wait around for that to happen I've got to do something about it.

I've had enough of being in jobs that I don't like, I want to do something that in proud of and that i feel good about what I do. My goal is to plan out exactly what I want to do and where I want to be and how I go about that. 

I know one main thing I want to do this year is to travel. So now I'm going to start looking at places to go I'm debating whether to go on my own because most of my friends are too busy. Maybe that's something I need to do though? Maybe I need to go out on my own, become more independent and learn about the world my own way. I don't know, but one thing I do know is that I want to do what I want for so long I've been worried about what people think or I let their thoughts decide for me but even though I'll still take their thoughts into account I want to focus on doing things for myself and to do things my way. 

All in all I just want to be happy, I've decided to write down a bucket list for this year of things that I would like to achieve and so I'm going to try my harder to make them possible.