Sunday, 22 June 2014

Happy, free, confused & lonely at the same time.

This title is actually a lyric from of course a Taylor Swift song haha but I feel like it really describes what I'm feeling right now. I'm at a place in my life where I just don't know what I want, I feel so many emotions that I tend to just block them out and the one day they all come back at me and I get really down. There's so many feelings that I feel right at this very moment, lost, frustrated, lonely, and just sort of numb. There's so much going on round my head, things that I over think about which then leads me to getting stressed about things. I'm normally the type of person that puts on a brave face and just goes with the flow but I hide a lot if I'm honest. I never show what I'm feeling and I find it hard to open up to express what I'm feeling.
At this point in my life I'm trying to figure out what I want to do with it, where I want to go, what path I want to go down. I've never truly known what career I want to end up doing so It's hard for me to get started with trying to achieve my goals. I also feel pretty much alone at this time, I don't exactly have many friends and I seem to find myself on my own a lot of the time. My confidence tends to get in the way of a lot of things and that frustrates me so much because it stops me from doing a lot of things that I would like to do. I've always been a shy person, I'm actually a lot better than I used to be, I don't actually consider myself that shy any more maybe if I meet someone new but then I tend to open up to them once I get to know them. But yeah, that's just kind of what I'm feeling right now. I'm generally a free, happy person because I've learnt to block negativity out but I do get those days where I just think to myself "what am I doing with my life?" I know I'll get there eventually and that things will lighten up a bit but it's just trying to find how to get started, y'know? xxx

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