The other day I was feeling a little low about things and so I had a little ramble on twitter about some of the things that I wasn't feeling very happy about. I work with a team of 7 people and 5 of those are boys/men and there's two females me and another lady who is actually quite a bit older than me (my mum's age). They are all good guys and It's not like they're not nice but sometimes I can't help feeling quite alone or sort of left out. Most of the time they'll be talking about games, drinks, foot ball and well y'know all the manly things! I find a lot of the time they talk about girls or customers who they serve and they'll add comments like 'Oh she was hot' or 'She was pretty!' and as silly as this might sound it actually makes me feel a little bit jealous. I don't like any of the guys I work with in a romantic way so that wasn't why I was jealous but I was jealous because I felt like any guys would never really say that about me. I have never felt 'beautiful' 'pretty' or 'hot' and I compare myself A LOT to other girls which I know is really unhealthy to do and I'm trying so hard not to do that. I'm going to be honest here, I have actually never had a boy friend and sometimes I've felt like I have never been good enough to be someone's girlfriend or no guy has ever considered me as 'pretty'. I guess what I'm trying to say is I've always been really insecure about my body and my image. I don't want to write a whole long post about my inscurities and flaws and things like that, maybe I will one day so I won't go into a lot of detail about that in this post. As I was writing about how I felt on twitter I got a message from one of my followers I was talking about how I have never had any confidence and how I'm going to start finding the confidence within myself and I got a reply saying "I think if you're willing to then by time it will happen. Hopefully sooner than later so you'll realize that you're at an+ an important age where a woman must focus on herself, goals & happiness & the last thing should be men's opinions"
That might not make much sense as this is just part of the convesation but the last bit about focussing on yourself, goals and happiness and basically not worrying about what men or anyone thinks of you that's seemed to have stuck in my mind because I think this is something we all need to do. Other peoples opinons shouldn't really matter, the only thing that matters is what you think of yourself. When you find that confidence in yourself that's when you'll start to see the beauty that's always been there but you have just never seen it or felt it. I hope this all makes sense, I just wanted to share with you that little piece of adivse I was given because I think that's something I need to follow by.
It would also be nice to have some more girls to work with so we can talk about girlie things haha!

Time changes.

Lately I've been in situations when I've realised just how much things have changed. One thing I miss a lot right now is the friendships I used to have and the times I used to hang out with my friends. The friends that I did have we were always so close, we used to do so much together and we were always there for each other. But time changed, things got in the way, we have different jobs, different lives which in a result is making us grow further and further apart. I've then realised that It always seems to be me that makes the effort to try and keep our friendships alive, sometimes I keep my hopes up too much that we can still be friends and that we still can be close. We do have the odd conversation every now and then but whenever we try to meet up it's like something always gets in the way of us doing that and not much effort is being put into doing so. I've come to realise that I'm tired of always being the one that makes the first move and maybe I need to stop forcing something that's not going to happen. We can't turn back the hands of time, life is constantly changing and so are the people in it. As much as I miss my old friends maybe this is just something that needs to happen. If people don't bother to be part of your life then maybe it's better for them to stay out of it? It can be sad how things change so quickly but change can also be a good thing. I once heard the saying 'The only thing in life that's constant is change' and I think that's what we've all got to realise is that as time goes on things do change and we have to deal with that whether we like it or not,
Have you been through something like this? Let me know in the comments...
Hope you all had a lovely weekend! :)
xxx

Favourite album of the month.

Okay, so I know this month isn't over just yet but I feel like I have to express how much I adore 'Sia furler's' new album. I didn't realise that this artist has been around for a while but I'm happy that I've discovered her music. When 'Chandelier' came out I instantly fell in love with that song and then 'elastic heart' and I was so excited to hear the rest of the album. I just love how unique it is she has a really original sound and it's so nice  to hear these days with a lot of music sounding the same. I also really admire the fact that she's sort of 'anonymous' I mean we all know who she is but I admire the fact that she doesn't want to be famous, she just wants to sing because she loves it. I think these days a lot of people want to be famous and they forget that they should be doing what they're doing because they love it not because of fame. I just really, really like this album and I'm recommending it to anybody who hasn't heard it yet.
Have you got any albums that you love at the moment?
xxx

Quote of the day...

I recently came across this saying and I completely agree with it. We've all got those hopes and dreams that we'd love to acheive but the only way of making those happen is to actually go out and try our hardest for them to happen. It's one thing saying what your 'dreams' or your 'goals' are but it's another thing to go and follow them. I think we're all scared of failing, it's okay to be afraid of that it's a natural thing to be afraid of failure but the important thing is that we should never ever give up no matter how hard it gets. Life isn't meant to be easy, chasing our dreams isn't meant to be easy that's why we need to work and work to get to where we want to be. It may take months, it may take years but as long as we're brave enough to keep on going and to keep on chasing what we want in life that's when you'll start to become successful. Sitting around not doing anything isn't going to help, it'll only slow your life down you've got to go out there and make it happen.

Vlogging favourites.

Evening everyone!

So I absolutely love watching people's vlogs, I just seem to get really interested into how other people live and what they get up to. I thought I would share with you my favourite vloggers right now. I'll throw in a few YouTubers here and there too.

The ShayTards

https://www.youtube.com/user/SHAYTARDS 

The Shaytards were the first vloggers I ever came across (Not the first Youtuber) but they were the ones who introduced me to this whole vlogging world. I've actually been watching them for about 4 years or so now which is kind of crazy to think about! Often people will find it strange that others watch people online, but it's the thing now isn't it? I don't find it that strange at all really, it's just like a reality show but on YouTube and so much more genuine. I just love the bond they have between their family, and I love the fact that they're 'family' people and they just love to hang out with theirs.

The SacconeJoly's

https://www.youtube.com/user/LeFloofTV

The SacconeJoly's are one of the most recent vloggers I've come across but yet have already become one of my favourite families on YouTube. I love the relationship between Anna and Jonathan and they have two of the most adorable kids Emelia and Eduardo and a bunch of cute little doggies!

Tom Fletcher

https://www.youtube.com/user/tommcflytwitter

I've always been such a huge fan of McFly and I absolutely love this man, he's hilarious! His video's always makes me chuckle away and he just has a really great sense of humor!

Gioavanna Fletcher 

https://www.youtube.com/user/Giovannasworld

Giovanna fletcher is a talented author and Tom's wife. If you notice I pretty much love the fletcher family as I'll be adding Carrie in this post too! They have the cutest baby boy 'buzz' which is a pretty cool name if I must say so myself! 

Carrie Fletcher 

https://www.youtube.com/user/ItsWayPastMyBedTime

It only makes sense to add Carrie in after Tom and Gi! I love how unique Carrie's video's are, she talks about topics that are so relatable and pretty inspiring too. She doesn't seem to 'follow the crowd' on YouTube and just really says what's on her mind.

It's Judy's Life

https://www.youtube.com/user/itsJudysLife

This is a family that I've been watching for a while now, Judy and Ben have three beautiful kids Juliana (I absolutely love that name!) and twins Kiera and Mia. It's so sweet to watch Juliana play with her younger sisters and they're just a really sweet family.

Dolly Bow Bow

https://www.youtube.com/user/Dollybowbow

I honestly think this is a really underrated channel, Kate is someone I've been watching for quite a long time now and she just seems like a really sweet, down to earth person. She's just had a son called Archie who is adorable! She vlogs as well as uploads on her main channel. 

Tanya Burr

https://www.youtube.com/user/pixi2woo

Tanya seems like one of the nicest people on YouTube, I remember when I was first really getting into make up when I was a bit younger and coming across her video's. :)

Caspar Lee

https://www.youtube.com/user/dicasp

He's just hilarious! 

Zoella

https://www.youtube.com/user/zoella280390

I think Zoe was one of the first YouTubers I discovered and have been watching her video's/vlogs ever since really. I think her stories relate to so many of us and she seems like a really sweet person. 

Socially awkward?

I've now been in my job for 4 months (it feels a lot longer than that) haha, but even though it was a rocky start and I must say it's not the funnest of jobs and there's been some down sides to it but there's also been a couple of good things about it. For one, it's helping me a LOT with my confidence. As you probably are aware of I can be quite a shy person sometimes when it comes to speaking with people I don't know or sometimes I'm quite awkward at socialising if I don't feel comfortable around people. But one thing I've noticed about this job is that it's slowly making me become more of a 'people person'. I'm not saying all my low confidence has gone because it definitely hasn't but I can see that slowly I'm feeling okay with talking to random people and that I don't feel so 'shy' I guess around them, I mean with this job that I have (working in a bakery shop) you can't really be shy, you've got to talk to customers and things like that. One of the reasons I wanted this kind of job was that I knew it would force me to become more sociable which is what I wanted and I knew a job like this would help me do that. I still get a little awkward sometimes around people which is just something natural that happens to me but I'm learning to sort of control that now and just force myself to approach people. Honestly, I really don't like approaching people if I don't know them because I feel like i'm bothering them! But even though I'm still not keen on doing it at least I know now that I feel better about doing it and that actually it's not so scary haha!
I think over all I'm used to distancing myself from people in general and I forgot how to socialise normally which has made me become less confident but now that I'm always being surrounded by a lot of people It's all coming back to me and even though sometimes I get a bit anxious about doing things like this I feel like I'm doing a lot better at it.
Hope you all had a lovely weekend!
xxx

Happiness & Confidence

I think throughout this year you'll find a few posts on the topic of 'happiness & confidence' this is something that I'm focussing so much on for myself this year and it helps to write things down to remind myself of them, and I thought it would help remind you on tips to be happy and confident.
I'm not the best at giving tips on how to become 'happy' and 'confident' because I have never truly been confident in myself or what I do but I'll do my very best.
One of the secrets to being happy is being confident within yourself, and that doesn't mean you have to be arrogant or full of yourself it just means that you have to learn to like yourself or accept that you can never be anybody else. To me 'liking' yourself is really important because after all it shouldn't matter what other people think or say about you, you shouldn't have to rely on other people's opinions or thoughts about you to make you feel 'okay' with being you and the choices you make. For me I have never been a confident person but I realised that It's time to make a change, I want to be proud of myself and I want to just simply 'like' me. You can never be any body else but YOU, you will always have your body, you will always have the characteristics that make you YOU, sure you can change them from time to time but it's not like you can take off someone eyes and stick them onto your face we've got to learn to like what we have. I feel like that if you finally become happy with yourself everything else becomes that little bit easier because your not doubting yourself so much. If you start to worry less about things that you shouldn't need to worry about then I think as a result of that you'll become happier.
This is such a strong topic for myself personally because this is something I've always tried to work on and slowly I'm finding myself becoming that little bit more confident and because of that I'm that little bit more happier. In my previous post my quote of the day was "Worry less, live more" And that's something I'm going to try and follow from now on. I think we rely on things or certain people and think that they will bring us happiness and if we don't find them then we won't be happy but that's not true. WE have to choose the happiness ourselves, we shouldn't have to rely on others to make us happy. :)
xxx

Quote of the day

I don't know about you but I worry and panic about a lot of things a bit too much sometimes. I can worry myself silly over the smallest of things and I just worry myself in general. I think worrying stops you doing a lot of things that you would like to do, it holds you back and it doesn't let you put yourself out there. 

In my experience worrying has stopped me from doing so many things that I would liked to have done and I think it's about time that I start focussing on myself a lot more and worry a lot less about what other people think or might say. 

I need to stop over thinking every little thing and I honestly think that if we all worry less we would all be a little bit more happier and also more importantly we would all be ourselves a lot more, 

Goals for 2015!

I always think of goals when each new year comes but of course nothing ever really happens and I just end up doing nothing. But this year I've decided that I'm pretty bored with the way I live right now and I need to make my life more interesting and set myself some goals that I want to achieve by the end of this year. Now, I may not achieve all of them THIS year but even if I at least achieeve half of them then I will be happy. So I have written down my goals and thought I would share them with you.

Travel
Travelling is always something I've wanted to do more of. Luckily I've had some opportunities to go on great holidays with my family and I've really appreciate all those holidays that I've been on which has made me fall in love with travelling. Of course there's certain places that I'd love to visit but generally I just want to travel as much as I can. I love experiencing different life styles and seeing new cultures, new face and new atmospheres. I hope that this year I can adventure on my own out into the world and discover new places.

Meet Taylor Swift
okay so as you may or may not know I absolutely love Taylor and ever since 2009 I've wanted to meet her, sometimes it seems impossible for me to do so but I don't want to lose that little bit of hope I have left. She's honestly done so much for me, I can't even begin to explain how much she has helped me throughout the five years of my life that I've known of her. So I would absolutely love to meet her some day, if not this year!

Do something out of my comfort zone
I have no idea what this might be, but this year I want to do something different, I want to do something that's completely out of my comfort zone. I have yet to find out what this will be but it's exciting.

Meet new people
I'm actually a pretty shy/awkward person when it comes to socialising. I've always been shy although over the years I feel like I'm slowly becoming more confident. But as a result of being a little shy I don't find it as easy to make friends as other people may do. So this year I definitely would like to do a bit more socialising and get to know different people.

Ski/Snowboard 
Skiing is something that I have always wanted to try doing. I've done a tiny bit of snowboarding a few years ago and absolutely loved it and that's something I would really love to do again. Even if that doesn't mean going to actual ski resorts abroad but just go to one of those indoor skiing places we have here in England would be pretty cool to try!

Cook More
Although I bake a lot cooking is something that I've never really done a lot of. I personally don't enjoy cooking that much but I want to try and learn some new recipes and not cook all the same meals that I usually do and I just want to experiment with different foods.

Finish writing my book
I've been writing a book recently and who knows what I will do with it in the future when I'm finished but I want to set it as a little project for myself to complete soon. :)

Climb across the roof of the London O2 Arena
Just something that I think looks amazing to do, I visit the O2 quite a lot and would love to climb the roof of it!

Upload more YouTube video's
Even though it's a little hard to find the time to do this I want to try my best to start uploading more YouTube video's and get my channel going.

Continue Blogging
I love blogging, I've been focussing on it a lot recently and that's something I want to continue doing throughout this year.

Be more positive
This is something I've been trying to do for a long time, it's slowly starting to work. I need to put myself in a new frame of mind and just try to be more positive about the way I look at things.

Worry Less
I do nothing but worry, I worry myself silly over little things and big things. But sometimes life is too short to worry over things that you shouldn't need to worry about.

Be Happy
Being happy is all I really want, being happy is all any body wants. I've had some low points in my life and I just want to focus on myself and with what makes me happy. We all deserve happiness but only we can choose it. 'Happiness is a choice' is a saying I've tried to live by and it'll always be something I try to live by now.

I want to try my hardest to achieve these things and if I end up doing so I can tick them of the list and look back on it in a years time and hopefully say 'this was a successful year!' for once, haha.

Have you got any goals you've set yourself this year? I'd love to hear them.
xxx

Where's your happy place?

We all have a place where we feel truly happy and comfortable. For me mine is my home. I absolutely love just chilling at home watching movies, listening to music or something like that. I think at home is where i feel like I can truly be myself, I don't do well in big crowded places sometimes and it's nice to just be on my own for a bit. 

That might make me sound like a bit of a 'loner' but I do love my own company I think I always have. Obviously I love spending time with friends but I also love doing my own thing. My happy place is doing my own thing in my own time. There are many other places that make me happy Though too! 

Where is your happy place? :) 

Xxx

My Most used make up products/what's in my Make Up bag?

I'm no expert when it comes to make up so I won't go into too much detail pretending I know everything about it. But over the recent years there are some products that I have used over and over and I tend to stick with the products that I know and love. Although that's not saying I'm not up to trying new products, because I totally am! I've used the ones I'm about to show you a lot so that's why they all look a bit tatty and well um over used haha! 

So firstly I adore my make up bag which also is looking a bit messy now so I may have to wash it! This is from Primark, they actually do some really cute make up/toilet bags in there so be sure to check those out if your looking for one. This one I actually purchased a couple of years ago and it has lasted me well, the price however I can't remember but It's primark so It wasn't very expensive! 

Lips

For lips at the moment I'm using 'Baby lips' Lip balm and the Rimmel lip colour which doesn't have too much colour but it gives your lips a really pretty red tint to them.

Face

For my face I use the 'collection' powder, sometimes If I can't be bothered (that sounds really lazy!) to put on foundation I just quickly put this powder on especially if I'm going out with no make up on I'll just put this on to give my face a little something. 

For blushes I have been using a really pretty shimmery bourjois product which is pink but has a touch of gold! And then I use one from Rimmel which I think looks amazing for the summer season! 

To apply those I use my Real Technique blush brush which I love! 

I have used this 'Too faced' eye kit pallet for a LONG time it's lasted me so well! I love the fact that you an do so many different eye looks with just one pallet and the colours are so beautiful. It's the most I've ever paid for any kind of make up about £30 or so I think it was or may have been a bit less! But It was definitely worth it for me.

Another product from 'collection' I absolutely love this eye liner, It's pretty easy to apply if your not an expert with eye liner. 

For the brushes I just use a Real Technique eye shadow brush and then I think I found the white brush from Tesco? It was from some supermarket anyway. But It's really good if like me you use eye shadow underneath your eyes instead of eye liner. 

And then lastly I use the Rimmel Match Perfection foundation. For concealer I use this one from 'collection' which is my all time favourite concealer! I also use these face wipes although I do change what face wipes I use often. 

So that's It really! I don't have a lot of make up, I don't really have time to spend hours on it haha. But these are the products that I use for my 'every day' make up. 

I'm always up for trying new products so if you have any that you'd recommend I would love to hear them! :)

xxx

The Undatables/Finding love

The undatables is something me and my mum watch every season it's on. But it always lets me reflect on love and the way we look at people. In fact I don't really like the name 'Undatables' just because they're a little different makes them undatable? In all honestly yes sometimes it does but that's what's so sad about it. When people see others that are a bit different it's like we seperate ourselves from those people and treat them differently to how we would treat 'normal' people. But what the hell is normal? We all have something different and unique about us some more obvious than others but we're all still human, we all have feelings and we all desereve to fall in love. I think after all every one is pretty much after the same thing in life and that is to find love and happiness. This show just gives me hope that no matter who you are, what you look like or where your from we all deserve to be in love, we all deserve to find that one person that makes us incredibly happy.

Life choices and happiness.

I was having a chat to someone at work yesterday and it's all put my mind into perspective. I was telling them about how I stayed up all night panicking and over thinking every little thing. I personally have never been one of those people who knew exactly what they wanted to do or where they wanted to go in life I've just 'gone with the flow' and followed where life took me. Although sometimes it's quite fun that way to see where you end up I find there's a lot of 'waiting' involved and not so much 'doing'. Im tired Of waiting around for something to happen and I realise nothing is happening because I am not making it happen. I'm waiting for something to come to me when really I have to go out and get it myself. I was saying to them how I have never truly been happy with what I've been doing, so this year I want make sure that I'm doing something that I love and that I actually enjoy. In an ideal world I would rather be my own boss and have a job that I can control what hours I work and sort of have it my way. But that might not happen for a few years, but again that's something I've got to go and do myself I can't wait around for that to happen I've got to do something about it.

I've had enough of being in jobs that I don't like, I want to do something that in proud of and that i feel good about what I do. My goal is to plan out exactly what I want to do and where I want to be and how I go about that. 

I know one main thing I want to do this year is to travel. So now I'm going to start looking at places to go I'm debating whether to go on my own because most of my friends are too busy. Maybe that's something I need to do though? Maybe I need to go out on my own, become more independent and learn about the world my own way. I don't know, but one thing I do know is that I want to do what I want for so long I've been worried about what people think or I let their thoughts decide for me but even though I'll still take their thoughts into account I want to focus on doing things for myself and to do things my way. 

All in all I just want to be happy, I've decided to write down a bucket list for this year of things that I would like to achieve and so I'm going to try my harder to make them possible.